Aiming To Be Most Things I Am Not

jvlioo:

cofficionado:
Originally posted by usedpimpa
“Girl you think I give a fuck about this job. I don’t want this job, I want you.”

- Barack Obama

(via confirmance)

writersdetour:

You know what? It’s really like that sometimes.

(Source: polarbearheir, via expelliatardis)

ethicalheaux:

squishable-amethyst:
amant-lesbienne:
angst-is-my-aesthetic:
scorpionbutch:
thallasiske:
my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house
me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty
My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house
My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome
Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now
My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit
Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you
my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house
my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty
Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go
My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops
protect this post

(Source: gh0stmother, via expelliatardis)

asoftloveliness:

I hate when people call randomly… like if you’re not the love of my life or my mother, please text to schedule an appointment first.

(via debaucherousanddecadent)

Welcome to Japan

mirron91:

nonjudgementalme:
catchymemes:
Where cars are parked orderly and in reverse
Where fruits can be cubes
Where people keep left
And lamps have different brightness for double beds
People queue up in lines
Applies to stickers too
Where what you get is the same as the poster
you get waved goodbye..?
Relieving both mind and body
Yup.
Smooth train operator
No embarrassing knocking or barging into rooms to check out if they are occupied
When you need an extra hand
For the selfiestas
Brolly holders
Because normal manhole covers are too mainstream
Think diagonal
And anytime u need to soak your feet
Where you raise responsible adults, not brats
And luggage is organised in color codes
When you need help after the condom broke
Instant sanitary gratification
Why they are so welcome at football matches
Where water is that clean in the drains
Nuff said
Source: imgur.com
When Anyone says it’s not possible to keep big cities clean I’m just show them this. Japan is one of the most densely populated countries don’t gimme that bs
I want a cherry pie drink.

(Source: catchymemes, via redpooch)

astrodickology:

Some of yall really have no empathy and yall think its funny and cute to be mean and its really ugly and disgusting and i deadass hope someone beats your ass

(via theravensdreamer)

deakers:

(via elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey)

theocseason4:

theocseason4:
Peak youtube humour is non beauty gurus holding literally anything other than makeup related items in front of the camera the exact same way beauty gurus do. That makes me laugh for 15 minutes straight every single time
This is literally the funniest thing

(via mum-thinks-im-cool)

king:

i asked my bf to make me some fucking hot chocolate and the entire time he was trying to remember that one harry potter spell about turning water to rum anyway he came in with my drink and he just goes “eye of newt, sperm of groot” and i dont remember the rest becasue i just burst into tears

(via aceabed)

monstrevoid:

sometimes youtube comments are complete garbage and then there are comments like this

(via bodhirookk)